More Linguistic Machinations

Here's a bemoaning of what's become of language as we all try to sound tapped in and otherwise expert. I've even seen plain humble ERISAfolk trying to keep up, as linguistic trends* get just oh-so-much cooler and cooler.

So, in listening to people try to communicate nowadays, where talking the talk seems to be a veritable Golden Ticket, I've assembled a glossary of terms that every lawyer should use in order to attain instant credibility. Here goes:

- "-ammed" (i.e., "slammed" and "jammed") - so busy you need to stop talking to me right now. The -ammed words are words that not only indicate a state of activity, but apparently inform the party to whom they are communicated that the speaker or writer is entitled as a matter of right to be free of whatever task is being considered for action. So, for example, if you ask someone to do something and you hear, "I'm slammed" or "I'm jammed", you will be committing a crime in some jurisdictions if you say something like, "Are you sure?" Or, "Is there any way that you could possibly work it in."

- "data dump" - the imparting of a chunk of information on someone. A cool tech reference, huh?

- "download" - a summary of the big picture, together with some detail as appropriate. Tech reference no. 2.

- "high altitude" - a general perspective. Sometimes, the concept can manifest itself with a specified distance off the ground, as in, "from 20,000 feet".

- "market" - other people. Actually, I sorta like this one. It conveys a notion that you're concerned with how other similarly situated people might approach your issue. Plus it makes you sound like you've got you're finger on the pulse. For example, you might say, "Well, I don't think the market would approach it that way."

- "on the ground" - there. We can't just say that someone's there; we have to say that someone's "on the ground".

- "opposite number" - other side; counterparty.

- "push back" - resist. Noun form: "push-back" or maybe even "pushback".

- "reach out" - try to contact someone, including, without limitation, by calling, emailing, visiting, speaking, etc. I truly believe that this phrase seeped into everyday conversation after the popularity explosion of NYPD Blue, where it seemed that everyone was always "reach[ing] out" to somebody. It's amazing to me that no one just gives someone a call anymore - we only . . . . reach out.

- "ping" - alert, remind, jostle, etc. Yet another cool tech reference, I guess.

- "space" - field, area. This is a biggie. No one just does anything anymore. You inhabit "space". So, for example, if I sold cars, I wouldn't be a car salesman; I'd be somewhere in the automotive space.

So how would all of this work? As they used to say in grade school, let's use the words in a sentence. First, the old way:

"Let me update you. The lawyers doing the actual negotiations are getting resistance from the other side, even though I think our position is reasonable. Can you please try to contact our private-equity people to let them know about the basics of what's going on here? - I'm too busy right now. Thx."

Now, the new, much (much) cooler way:

"Let me give you a quick download. The lawyers on the ground are getting all kinds of push-back from their opposite number, even though I think we're clearly in line with the market. Please ping our people over in the private-equity space and do a data dump from 20,000 feet - I'm really all kinds of slammed and jammed right now. Thx."

Now, doesn't the second version sound much more in the zone, in the sweet spot, in the . . . ? Well, you get the idea.

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* See also my earlier post on linguistic nomenclature.